Spice up Your Relationship With Safe Sexting for Valentine’s Day

Dr. Gregory Jones

Many people may view sexting as juvenile, inappropriate, or outright dangerous, but following some helpful guidelines can help spice up your sex life while not worrying about sacrificing your security clearance.

It is quite difficult this time of year to stroll through many stores and not be inundated with reminders that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Valentine’s Day is often a time when couples try to reignite their sex lives, but just like New Year’s Resolutions many of these attempted changes are not long lasting. Sexual intimacy is something many couples struggle to maintain during the duration of a relationship, but is vital to its longevity. A great way for couples to enhance their sex lives is through sexting.

Many people may view sexting as juvenile, inappropriate, or outright dangerous, but following some helpful guidelines can help spice up your sex life while not worrying about sacrificing your security clearance. When it comes to communication, the less direct the communication, the more honest and open people tend to be. Texting is one of the least direct forms of communication, allowing people to be more open about their likes, dislikes, fantasies, and even engaging in role playing. Sexting is an ideal form of flirtation that appeals to the sensibilities of all genders. Females are often more aroused by feeling desired and engaging in fantasy, while males respond more to visual stimuli. This is also a great opportunity to learn more about what your partner enjoys and desires. Surprisingly, when I work with couples it is often the case that they are unable to answer or incorrectly answer what turns on their partner the most, or what they enjoy the most sexually. For those, who are afraid to talk about sexual things, or brought up in a non sex-positive culture, sexting is the safest way to express their desires while minimizing feelings of shame.

Letting go of shame can be quite empowering, and what better place to feel empowered than in your sex life. A major aspect of sexting for many couples can be sending pictures, and for some this can be quite an empowering experience. Of course, people are worried about where these pictures could end up, or in a city like Washington, D.C., that their security clearance could be impacted. To deter this from happening, I encourage people to be mindful in how they take pictures and what of. Whether you are comfortable with nudity or not, you can still take some sexy pictures. If you are taking nude pictures make sure to not have your face in the picture, conceal or edit out any identifying body marks or tattoos, and be sure not to have any distinctive background that you could be identified from. When taking erotic clothed pictures and showing your face, always ask yourself if you would be ok if someone other than your partner saw this picture. If the answer is no, then make sure to conceal your face. Remember sometimes more is less, and having a flirty suggestive pose while being somewhat clothed is often more arousing than a fully nude picture. Have fun and be creative while taking pictures, it will make it more enjoyable for you and your partner. There are many apps out there that also help ensure the safety of your pictures. Try using Snapchat so your picture can only be viewed for a short period of time, use a password protected picture vault so no one can accidentally swipe in your photo album and see your NSFW pictures, or any of the other apps that help protect your image and help ensure your ability to maintain that security clearance.

Whether you are willing to try some flirtatious texting, getting adventurous with some pictures, or full out sexting, this is a definite way to spice up your love life and also helpful in getting to know your partner more intimately. Valentine’s Day is a great time to launch your sexting campaign, but it is important to continue this communication year round. Lastly, make sure your phone is password protected, so your kids or mother doesn’t pick up your phone and see your sexy texts!

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